February 16, 2020
Throwing inciteful fuel on another often sparks a reaction. It’s a bad verbal habit and inconsiderate of others, and all because the guilty don’t ‘fix’ their triggering quirks of others. Friend, partner, co-worker, anyone may have the habit of manipulation, domination, and control to one degree or another. I have a particular friend who I think is the ‘world’s most interesting man’, but is a psychological abuser at times, and of course in denial of it. One of his favorite habits is to say, ‘no, no, no’ frequently in conversation until I remind him that this is the ‘Yesss
Center’, of course, to ‘no’ avail. Often, there are recurring moments when the ‘gaslighter’ is quite charming, and also may have positive qualities to keep you attached and in their game.
As a corporate salesman for large businesses for years in NYC, you NEVER communicated other than by dialog or at most ‘very soft debate’ with either customers, prospects, or with the support people in your own corporation who, but without them you would have nothing to sell. Always it was a rule to feel the flow of contact as positive and meaningful as possible. Of course, when stepping out the door to a personal world, it isn’t uncommon for pejorative, confrontational attitudes to arise, especially with those having substance abuse problems. It is strange to see how a change of environment makes some into a ‘Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
If you’re sending hate darts at people, emitting thoughts of perceived contempt and judgment, revenge fantasies, even sexual fantasies, these do things to your energy field and overall “balance sheet” that open up additional vulnerabilities to negative influences.” You can add envy, arrogance, nastiness, jealousy, or any other negative projections with an emotional charge behind this, as well. Know that what is perceived by you or the other may need an inner alteration of conception for harmony. One of my favorite mystics, George I. Gurdjieff: said “The majority of people find many excuses not to work on themselves. They are in a complete prison of their weaknesses.”
If you have a dichotomy of actions and words no one will be impressed with, no matter how good you look or how hard you try until you bring your words and actions into alignment or misconstruing things will follow. Most of us are of sound mind, but many of us have trouble maintaining a note of harmony and peace within. Most of us know how to think, but few of us are able to control our thoughts. We all have the capacity to be creative, to image new ideas, but few of us are able to do it alone, or together and co-create in harmony with each other. We could all do with some mental training so that we may use the most powerful energy in the universe, the mind, which is always at our instant disposal. Of course, a good sense of humor with a ‘gaslighter’ is good, BUT be careful, there may be a kickback of gaslighting if the humor isn’t taken well! Always come back to a sense of love and in your heart.