On Of Feelings

On Off Feelings
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 June 25, 2019

If you’ve ever taken a shower and suddenly it gets icy cold or burning hot, then you’ll understand the zig zagging of a temperamental, fluctuating person. Of course, it doesn’t mean the person isn’t nice, but susceptible to ‘mood swing’, or just fear of communicating closeness. The type struggles with being able to love except in particular moments. You can trust this type, but trust to change in a moments notice or even without it, for no visible reason that common sense would reveal.

I think of a Chinese American girl who I phone counseled from her age of 28 to 38, and very gently as she possessed many roadblocks to what she or I could say. Yet, her wishes were to break through fears, trust issues, fear of abandonment, etc. Sandy was very successful with management and investment of money, but even though attractive was unwilling to seriously deal with her ‘on off switch’. Sandy wanted marriage and babies, but because of not seriously dealing with cumbersome unresolved ethnic and childhood issues she now has almost passed the time of having children. 

There is a sense of stubbornness that puts up a shield when closeness of love knocks but for a moment. Change of the mind/heart connection is almost like changing a full grown trees positioning only the tree can’t cooperate like a human can. The mind is an enemy and friend back and forth if not best friends with heart energy. The soul is always open, but not the physical mind unconnected to the heart. It’s always time to stop trying to float up the rapids and see that relaxing and going with the flow of godliness and the harmonies of life will light the way.

Tomorrow and yesterday can be excuses to thwart what can be seen and felt in the moment right here, right now. The ‘you’ you’ve become accustomed to is a collection of others opinions, and your own perceptions. To the degree that the negative ones are primary in your thinking is to the degree that you will unnecessarily suffer be it in anxiety, depression, fears, lack of self worth, etc. Ask Mr. God or LGBT Creator, for ways to smooth your days out! Why avoid all the miracle like techniques (many meditating ones) that are readily available for retrofitting a new and clear consciousness? Wisdom is floating in the air, we just have to be open to it, and with patience and openness that it may come in quiet and invisible ways. Freedom is deep love of self!


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