Training Courses for Women

April 22, 2018

Women think they already know everything, but wait…
Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects: (note: just go along with this!)

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears – The Last Resort, not the First
8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem…Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don’t Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

The list for men is far, far too long to include here. Overall women are the more sensitive and evolved despite male abuse since before the neanderthal era. It is now the responsibility of males to evolve their feminine side using extreme awareness and discernment in all their actions. Uhhhh, but not… (?):

until your car or home is paid off … until you get a new car or home … until your kids leave the house … until you go back to school … until you lose ten pounds … until you gain ten pounds … until you finish school … until you get a divorce … until you get married … until you have kids … until you retire … until summer … until spring … until winter
… until fall … until you pass away …

Time to stop bullshitting yourself and others! There is no better time than right now to be excited and ‘get up’ to make a difference in your life and the world! Life and love are a journey, not a destination. So live like you don’t need money, Love like you have never been hurt, and well dance like no one’s watching.

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