Judge or Enable?
July 25, 2016
To judge is a wonderful opportunity! Believers of the Abrahamic religions support lining up at the pearly gates for a ‘monopoly like game’ of getting a ‘card’ to ‘do not pass go and go directly to jail (hell) for trillions times trillions of years. Wow! That sounds like eternity! But, you may get a card that says you are judged worth of going to a heaven where for eternity (apparently) our life will be in some form of ‘wine and roses’. Now if I’m offending anyone here, why judge me? I may be fixable or repentant!
First of all, I’m not impressed by ‘saints’ as they tend to have earned that title thanks to an ideological religion which looks to aggrandize itself. And, this ‘Saint Peter at the gates as the gatekeeper? Forgive my boldness, but as a child I was made to believe a peter was a penis or a cock (I hope I don’t get sent to hell for saying that..yikes!). Then again, I think since it’s always been a male world, perhaps a woman out to do the judging, and a compassionate, positive one at that!
Judging someone can be positive, negative, helpful, hurtful, unintentional, innocent, in other words, a myriad of ways. Not ‘judging someone’ when you know it might help them to correct a behavior that comes across to common sense as negative or harmful could be ‘enabling’. Enabling someone in the negative sense is to say nothing, and even tolerate for fear of their reaction. An example was a middle age black artist who use to set up next to my free speech display on Venice Beach. Lovely guy and for several years I had to ‘strain’ myself to understand his ‘ebonics’ or southern type slang. I would sometimes have to pretend I heard him so as not to hurt his feelings (in my way of thinking). However, I began to notice that I wasn’t the only one. People would ‘enable’ him to continue his ‘hard to understand talk’ for the same fear of their fear of his possible reaction, or hurting his feelings.
One day I confronted him, using the most skillful of means possible about the problem. He looked at me shocked thinking it was that most people were just hard of hearing, and not his problem at all. Not saying anything to a person who has an obvious ‘short coming’ in their communication or life in general, like excessive drinking, drugs, attitude issues, etc., is to enable them which in a way you become guilty of not being spiritually loving. Of course, the skillful, compassionate means of relating something to anyone, child or an elder takes great care and self composure.
Always, first look at yourself when approaching anyone else about something they should change while acknowledging any shortcomings you may have. The world changes when you change and can skillfully, compassionately aid in changing others for better harmony with themselves, their loved ones, people they know, as well as strangers. Love is the magic elixir that smooths the bumps in life!