Yap Yap Yappers
March 27, 2010
“I have more to say than you and that’s why I control the talk”! We all certainly encounter this type of ‘talkie-talk yap yap yapper’. for the listener is certainly not one of the ‘yappers’ main qualities. Chances are this ‘yapper rapper’ doesn’t accept that they do 80% or more of the talking with most. Imagine when two of them get together! Yappers are usually disconnected from close, personal emotion instead displaying it in superficial circumstances like getting teary eyed over movies.
Yappers are oblivious to their ‘quirkiness’ and insensitivity to the maligned listener who can hardly get a word in edge wise. The recipient of the babbler’s babble is usually caught between a rock and a hard place knowing full well that pointing this fault out will jeopardize further communication, perhaps forever. Communication is a paramount quality of our interdependence with each other to make a more successful life. Communication is both ways. Tuning in to the one spoken to and listening to their viewpoint while not ‘over talking’ or babbling in the head with little regard for what the other has to say is a desirable quality of compassion.
I became more aware of ‘yappers’ when I began my spiritual community/center with dozens of people plus doing free speech among ten of thousands of people in Los Angeles. They say ‘need is the mother of invention’, and when I would have others waiting in line to say something with a babbler oblivious to everything other than what they had to say, I had to find creative ways to cut the ‘monologue’ short without hurting their feelings. Displaying any form of distraction with apologies to the yapper, works. The yapper needs to see themselves from others points of view and find ways to reinvent a two way healthy conversation/dialog.
One dude I know is an unceasing parrot of the bible. A brother talks endlessly about fishing even if the listener has no interest in it. A female friend controls 90% of the conversation with talk about her job. Another about ‘vegetarianism’ or ‘gossip. Usually these people have some very redeeming value to maintain the friendship. In a sense, they are ‘conversation abusers’. Always show empathy for the listener to be involved in an interacting conversation. If you’re the listener, be creative with ways to cut the ‘one way talk’ short, and use skillful means to let them know they ‘talk too much’, without disturbing their ego unnecessarily. Talk is cheap; make it more valuable.