March 7, 2010
The past destroys the future! ‘Hope’ for fixing the past for the future is akin to believing in the ‘tooth fairy’. The past behavior and personal experiences in matters of relationships is best regarded as an indicator of future experiences and behavior. The past is like an ‘aroma shadow’ of the future. At this point in time, there are rare few exceptions for those looking for the breezes of a that reverses past difficulties.Going to ‘mental workers’ to correct the problem is like hiring an expert painter to paint a fire damaged house.
Bad habits are usually denied and projected on to others for escaping responsibility. Humans cling to habits that annoy others without examining them for correction. Refusal to look at and change those behaviors is followed by many excuses to rationalize behavior that a loved one is suppose to accept ‘out of love’! Love can become a means to control the others life to better satisfy the ‘controller of love’s own life’. Love is about saying, ‘how am I doing so far’? Real love just adjusts naturally to common sense. Make it a quest to find a couple in deep love, verify that and, try to spend time observing them. Couples in serious love may be like trying to find a needle in a haystack but, it’s more than worth the benefits if activated in ones own life.
Reaccuring mood swings are usually symptomatic of unresolved issues from childhood that rarely find themselves over the years more than ‘painted over’. Jennifer Jones, a beautiful actress who was mentioned at this years Oscar Academy Awards as having ‘passed’ recently, was married several times, once to the ‘movie mogul’ and Producer of “Gone with the Wind”, David O. Selznick. Jennifer Jones led an outward life that would be the envy of most women in the world but inwardly, a disaster. My friend, Jess Stern, author of the best NY Times selling book, ‘Soulmates’, said once that she use to call him over the years with her emotional mood swings, once after stabbing herself in the abdomen. The ‘swing’ never stops, rich or poor and, changing relationships is futile.
Inner life determines all outcomes in matters involving love. Moving from one to another in hopes of