May 20, 2020
Until it’s safe’ means ‘never’.The pursuit of “safe” over virtually all other considerations is life-suppressing. This is true for your own individual life, and it is true for the life of a society. Do you lead a lot of your life around waiting ’til it’s safe and a ‘safe time’ is just an excuse to procrastinate. Of course, one doesn’t need to take ridiculous chances, like jumping from a plane without professional help or driving a motor cycle at 70 MPH on a curvy road. Common sense always needs to rule without being paranoid cautious.
Fears are necessary for survival, but fears that are practical. I have a brother who visited me in NYC when he was 18. Took him up to the roof of a 32 story building I lived in with views of the whole city. Within minutes, he sat on the edge enjoying the view! That would never be ‘safe’ for me with an inner alarm riveting through my body. Makes sense to not have to wait for when it feels safe – there is little value in doing that.
Leading your life on the basis of ‘until it’s safe’, needs a judgment call on if it’s necessary to ever feel safe. Life has many ‘common situations’ that ‘never will need a safe thought’, and the circumstance is a beneficial one to let go and have the courage to face it as there is no reward in not. An example might be ‘swimming’ especially when someone is there as a life guard and willing to help you break through. It’s always wise to step back and examine your fears and how you are cheating some of life’s great experiences.
There is a famous play by Samuel Becket that is a typical example of the Theatre of the Absurd, and people use the phrase ‘waiting for Godot‘ to describe a situation where they are waiting for something to happen, but it probably never will. It’s safe NOW for love! Be safe within and feel safe with someone else who does too. ‘Safety’ in real love is never an appropriate word of concern.