June 28, 2017
Everyone needs confirmations sometimes and a feeling of being noticed, if not a lot more. Even a simple gesture like a smile, nod, hello, a hug – anything that feels like recognition. Few are not alone or lonely inside and in appreciation for any sign of approval that they are alright. A positive sign of recognition of another is a form of giving, that invisibly stirs a little voice of thank you inside. The world can be cold, and any gesture of approval warms it up a bit. Even a sunny day can be that gesture, or the wag of a dogs tail of greeting.
Imagine being invisible to all life where nothing validates your appearance. Every breath you take is a validation of you being here at this time. We are all unique and one of a kind, but we all breath the same air inspite of pollution or contaminants. It’s possible to change someone’s life by a sincere compliment, and everyone has some things about them that is special. Imagine passing an aging woman in a wheelchair who looks sad, and probably has almost no recognition by anyone but an occasional passing dog. Spending a few moments with her, validating what’s beautiful about her, might just be a memorable moment that gives her more hope in life
Make your life one of validation, but not just superficially validating everyone for return validation of a ‘thank you’. First, find deep validations of who you are. One way to do that is to be grateful all the time for anything you can think of, including the negatives that can be teachers in how to best convert them into the highest possibilities. Feelings of gratitude is like magic for strengthening the love and self appreciation within. Give to yourself first, then you’ll have a constant supply of energy to give out to everyone with empathy and compassion.
Try this simple meditation two or 3 times per day for a month to fill yourself with ‘gratitude’; find a quiet, secluded place, close your eyes and take deep slow breaths in and out until you are filled with air then slowly let the breath out until there is not a drop left. Silently in your mind while breathing repeat words similar to this: I’m moving into gratitude and gratefulness, I’m moving deeper and deeper into gratitude and appreciation. I’m moving into more gratitude, more appreciation, more gratefulness. Say it quietly within fast and throughout the exercise. After 7 or 8 minutes, stand, sit, or lie down with eyes closed and just be the watcher of whatever comes up in the mind for at least a few short minutes. The whole meditating technique can be ten minutes or a little more. Another 30 days can be used with any other word that characterizes a quality you want more of. That word could be ‘awareness’, kindness, laughter, love or any word quality you choose. The lasting effect will be very strong. All the qualities you focus on will be self validating! Do the same meditation technique for validating yourself and others! Like magic, it will work! Self pity is our worst enemy. Trust life and love unconditionally.