Criticism with Love
March 30, 2016
The ‘thought police’ are slowly slipping into life! Criticism has karma and a boomerang effect…unless used with finesse and/or permission of those criticized, and that usually demands compassion and empathy. People are generally ‘thin skinned’, which for the younger is somewhat understandable. Those more ‘seasoned’ often have led their lives with a shield around themselves to protect insecurities. Most people are like a delicate china shop or like taking candy from a baby.
No question that critical words directed at someone can result in making the receiver needlessly disappear forever in hurt and inability to reconnect, or to forever implant negative perceptions of the encounter. Any criticism, is often piled on to previous ones adding to self judgments that bury self appreciation further from recovery.
One of the major faults today, is the paying of too close attention to the faults, errors and activities of others, and too little attention to your own fulfillment of the law of love and common sense. Watch with care your thoughts against each other, and kill out at once all suspicion, all criticism, and seek to hold the other unwaveringly in the light of love. Criticism is wholesome as long as it is not permitted to become destructive.
Criticism is best presented as positive as possible. In the corporate world as a salesman, I quickly learned never to go to criticism of a prospect or client, but to ask them to explain that which could be criticized as to ‘why, what, when, or how’ the ‘issue’ or situation is as it is. Let the other become open to hearing a ‘solution’ that will work better. The receiver always should have the best respect possible, or ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. Two important ‘spiritual words’ need be always acknowledged, ‘Skillful Means’ in action and words should be used.
For those easily bothered by criticism, it’s best not to avoid but to learn to accept and reflect, avoiding reaction and looking to weigh what’s true or warranted or not. Initiating judgments should be avoided, and reactions to those who initiate them is best countered using skillful means in response including silence, but also letting go of any negative reaction.
Be your most loving self. One can certainly trade away their freedom and we all do, by means of all kinds of voluntary decisions. Criticism forthcoming is always an opportunity to examine it for it’s quality, and if there is some truth in the criticism, be thankful and adjust.
The human race is a monotonous affair. Most people spend the greatest part of their time working in order to live, and what little freedom remains so fills them with fear that they seek out any and every means to be rid of it.” –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Always take the high road, carrying on with whatever life presents. You’ve come a long way, and may have a long way to go. Take the roads that reflect your highest consciousness.