Language of Love
November 22, 2014
Love has many dimensions, degrees, and well, individual ways of expressing it. I have a sister-in-law who lives 3 hours away in Vancouver, Wa., and on rare occasion I talk to on the phone when she grabs the phone from my brother saying, ‘I love you’ then waits for me to say it. She insists I say it! Not my style, as a ‘thank you’ is comfortable for me. To me, almost always I say it only to someone I have an active deep connection with, and it’s from the body, mind, emotion, soul and wherever.
Some people would say I love you to Sasquatch! To me, there’s something going on there … or the lack of it. The expression is bantered around too frivolously for my taste watering down its meaning. On the other extreme, mom never said, ‘I love you’, but it was all around her without question! Different folks, from different times, cultures, family traditions, etc. inherit or develop varying ways to express love.
There are at least five ways to emotionally convey love to another. It’s important not to overlook the others primary way while just harboring your way or desire. One might be ‘appreciation’ expressed through words of affirmation. An example would entail thanking the over for something they’ve done. Another is ‘acts of service’ where actions speak louder than words. Just ‘I love you’s may leave the one you love unfulfilled.
Giving and receiving gifts is another way of affirming love for some, but not all. If from the heart it may fill the others heart. Buying love though can turn to ‘entitlement’ or expectation of some gratuity all the time, devaluing the expression of love from giver and receiver. ‘Quality Time’ may be the most important to your partner to show your love. Spending little time and giving gifts may not fulfill the others need for love.
The power of physical touch should never be overlooked. A touch on the shoulder, touching your partners leg while driving, hugs, facial touching, holding hands, kissing, and of course fulfilling mutual desires of sexual intercourse.
Do remember to take the initiative, focus on the others primary ‘love button’ while not forgetting the other four. Shinning love in all ways while connecting with your own love guru fills the heart and spirit for your personal self as well as the other. Let your love be a tsunami of love, gentle but pervasive. The way forward is always in love!