Fear of Friendships
August 1, 2014
At first glance of the title, most would jump to the conclusion that it’s impossible! Nothing could be further from the truth! People fear ‘friendliness’. Walk down the street and try to be friendly, or in a supermarket, unless you have a knack for friendliness, even you fail at that, let alone the stranger who you’re being friendly to. Facebook on the internet allows you to be friends with infinite numbers of people just by clicking on the ‘request’, then very little if anything happens after that! People have gotten into the habit making potential friendships into remote acquaintances that can be forgotten in days.
Females in particular fear friendships with the opposite sex, and no one can blame them either!
Likely, it started in childhood with an over demanding father, no father, a sexually abusive adult, societal unhealthy programming, etc. Fear of how the male will treat them, and the consequences that will possibly happen, create any variety of personalities to thwart closeness.
Males have rarely found absolute control within themselves over their wanting to have their wishes fulfilled, and usually for biological reasons, overt or unconscious, toward who they are attracted to rather than let the more vulnerable make the choice, or perhaps in unison.
Typically, women avoid rare males who are evolved enough to just be a friend. They unknowingly project fear that the male wants more, or they feel insecure, and strangely even if the woman wants more. Females can be insane in not seeing whether a man is with high self love, compassion, empathy, personal communication skills, etc., or just a regular guy. However, somewhere, even in their centuries of male abuse in the DNA programming, fear is lurking. That ‘fear’ is a block of Mt. Everest proportions to get around if the passion, and action to know and love themselves is not being activated.
I have known many women who stay with a man or ‘pine’ over a relationship that’s going nowhere, but close themselves off from a rare male that is willing to be just a close friend, and no more. Inner evolvement happens when you are open, and that openness seeks another who can communicate from a position of strength with respect to your wishes.
For anyone who is on the ‘love spiritual path’, nothing but harmony should be sought, and with someone who can measure up to that. As I just told a 35 year old attractive, shy friend in LA on the phone, seek the deep friendship. A guy who is more evolved will love it and expect nothing. Drop expectations of where the relationship has to go, as he will also if he’s evolved. Friends that have deep meaning are rare, and often don’t exist. You never want to be the problem. The other, unless waking up, is destined to sadness and well, nothing. The answer to life is simple. Love of yourself and another with nothing left out. Oh, and don’t forget to drop the ‘fear of change’, and be the change! That’s the spiritual path!