See with sensitivity what is going on, but be able to ‘communicate it’. Look around and see someone who doesn’t have childhood abuses and negativities that you had, AND that still bother you. Make a choice to see and understand the ‘gap’ (and separate it from ‘outward successes’) between your inner discomfort, and their lack or near lack of it. Moving ahead into a healthy inner and outer is NOT going to happen without you acknowledging the past negativity you are carrying, and ‘owning’ it in the moment. ‘Owning it’ involves seeing and accepting your negative limitations as well as acknowledging them to others, particularly a partner. Humbleness is godliness.
This isn’t about just ‘comparing’ yourself to another, but seeing someone who is more sensitive, loving, aware, etc. If you can’t see someone like that, there are a couple, three possibilities. One possibility being that you are not ‘sensitized enough to see that in anyone’! Unblock yourself and focus on being more sensitive, opening up your heart and mind more. Begin questioning others who seem to exhibit a less ‘problematic’ nature. Ask them about their childhood, and if there were damaging contributions? Perhaps there were not, or they were minor. We all are the ‘product’ of what came before, and that’s only fair, but you can with sustained focus move beyond inner blocks from childhood.
See that you, the inner you, is as perfect as anyones. The difference between people is living in an outer you (which is often mistaken for the inner ‘real you’), and not letting the ‘real inner you’ come out to heal that damaged perceived ‘inner/outer’ you. You must become the ultimate, loving, ‘mothering being’ to the unnecessarily fearful, angry, self doubting you. Love grows both for yourself, and for another as you develop that mothering your inner self nature.
The ‘intellect’ is useful, and to be admired, but common sense intelligence is more important for a loving life. Being short on the mothering love of yourself is like someone studying all aspects of footfall, watching it, playing catch, and so forth but not having the passion and experience to play with those who do. Love is not a mental concept, but an ocean of moving deep within yourself, and being able to mirror that with someone(s). Reading all the books to make you more of a genius is like learning football for knowledge, but not knowing the ‘giving and receiving’ in active participation.
It’s always good to ask yourself ‘where am I going’ and what can I do to know myself more than yesterday and today. Put more gas in your tank, and use a GPS direction tool called ‘meditating’ to open your energies and insights that will direct you to a more blissful life. Life or godliness awaits as a helper for your ‘breakout’ into a more enlightened experience.