Most couples, as time goes on, seem to find each other an ‘irritant’, and a coupling that endures because of fear of being alone. Strangely, couples become anesthetized against any love but from minds memory. In the world of ‘products for sale’, there is a term called ‘rebate’, or a return of part of the original payment for service or merchandise previously acquired.
More and more people in freer societies are ‘loning it’, and not by preference, but after one or more failed relationships leaving ‘off springs’ with a confusing description of who is their parent, and who is the new non biological one, or ones.
Recently I met a very wonderful young middle age female I’ll call Emily, who when I asked about her parents, she just took a deep sigh. Emily’s mother and father separated years ago. Mother married another man when Emily was a teenager. She regards him as her father. He several years later divorced her mother because of incompatibility – married another woman meaning the step father she refers to as her dad now has a step mother who is ten years older than Emily. Emily has a boy and girl in their twenties from a father who she divorced years ago. That father is an alcoholic. My friends two kids have graduated from college and are so far electing to remain single. I’ve simplified the above, it’s even more complicated!
Clinging to memories of ‘start-up’ loving romances, and maintaining security through fears while lacking upward, inner evolvements seems to be the standard since the freer ‘independent’ movement of the 1970’s and ’80’s. Food spoils, as well as love that’s not ‘deep with mutual surrender and communication’ spoils without being refreshed. Most love is like a movie trailer, pretty good on the highlights, but who knows what the content will be from beginning to end?
Love often ends before it really has begun … sadly! Want to find out who you are? Get a romantic partner and live together. What you see is a mirror reflection of who you are! Marriage is a ‘mirroring’! When it doesn’t work, it’s existence trying to tell you to wake up, be in your heart, and find out who’s living inside your body instead of everyone else’s opinion, and yours! There is no ‘couplitis’ when two people independently love themselves … apart from looking in the mirror of course. There is no end, and the beginning hasn’t started until the ego and it’s games is let go of to make space for self love!