Can’t Find Love?
December 29, 2012
Love for most is like fishing where the fish don’t seem to bite the hook much, and if they do, the catch is a disappointment. Fishing is a ‘knack’, as is finding the deep, personal love that ignites a love few ever catch hold of. Love always lurks in the shadows at least, but can seem to be an evasive mystery at times. Everyone gets at least a ‘touch’ of love, but that elusive connection may become as elusive as the light of one star in the vast, dark sky.
Recently I saw a documentary of a young man who escaped from a North Korean labor camp where he was a prisoner from birth, as were his parents. After hard labor from earliest memory, he escaped as a young adult in recent years to a ‘safe, free country’. Everything he saw was alien to him. I remember one question he was asked, ‘have you found love’? His answer was that he had ‘no idea what that was’! There are billions today who have little idea more than that North Korean man – just rare small glimpses apart from natural biological urges. It’s like finding the end of a rainbow for many – the hope may occasionally be there, but when the opportunity arises, it can’t be held on to.
A few years ago, I devised a ‘measuring exam of love experienced in the past’ to give to people in order to find out how much love they had experienced. Having given the test to many, many, I’m quite surprised that, except for one or two, all were lacking an experience of love that sent their heart into a permanent, glowing state of consistent love. Most love with people is like cold, warm, or at best hot water on occasion, but nearly never turning to a permanent ‘steam’ or inner aura of love that transcends the love that comes only in ‘swinging doors’ where it’s there, and then out of reach.
Love is stored inside every being. Only humans have the possibility to activate a heart filling with love. Seems to make more sense to fill the heart rather than the bank account that always lacks enough to count on. “Inner rich’ pays the best interest and dividends, as well as assuring a wonderful retirement and escape from the planet when the ‘bell tolls’. Fear of love, or ‘philophobia’ with another is a ‘dis-ease’ that affects nearly everyone, and that fear usually is permanent although there is a way out. Opening the heart, while letting go of all fears of closeness may take courage but it’s the key. Try meditating to soften the heart, and clear the mind of too many attached negatives.