Frustration with Love
February 26, 2012
The shadow of frustration is ‘expectation’. Every action creates a reaction or response. When you smile, the whole world smiles back. When you are angry, even existence reacts. When I first went to India, I was told to expect a culture shock, so I prepared my mind for that. Never did I imagine the nuclear shock I had the first day from deplaning into a large barn like building in Mumbai to a trip though the mountains in the dark, inches from the valleys below as truck after truck shot by us on what seemed like a one way dirt road.
The place of my expectation approached a mile away with poverty all around, and 3 wheeler rickshaws ricocheting every where. I found myself disillusioned with a dark cloud hanging over me like I’d never had. Immediately, it seemed we crashed into another vehicle before proceeding. I’m convinced to this day that my ‘anger’ at that moment conveyed to the universe to make that accident happen.
Everything we do, we do with expectations. Love, in particular creates an expectation of utopia. Attachment to that expectation, which seems to come into our being without asking, more often than not creates frustration soon or a little later. Love must be a play, and not a duty or bondage. Love is freedom, and nothing less. Love aborts expectations. Let love fills your being, and it’s like walking with a guardian angel everywhere you go. When love becomes a ‘duty’, love becomes only a word to hold together relationships for other reasons. Kill love with expectation, and it becomes like an aborted child – dead.
The ‘boss’ expects! Give him his due while enjoying it, and more if possible, yet expect nothing. If no reward is forthcoming, don’t expect it the next time. Find a new job! Give in the ‘material world’ that which pleases you, and those giving you the opportunity. Always, be yourself, find your passion, and prepare to follow it, while with no expectations.
Be in love with someone who reciprocates, and treat the union as you should love yourself. Where there is expectation to love yourself, you’re doing it right if the shadow of frustration is but a mirage that you are not attached to. Frustration applies to everything, not just love. Let go of thoughts that the whole world needs to transform to your ideals and needs. Why get frustrated even if the whole world essentially is. Be reasonable about your ability to fix others than yourself, then maybe some influence will blossom – and with none of your expectation! Expectation is the poison! The source of frustration is always expectation – Even expecting God to answer your prayers is a poison! Drop anguish, relax, enjoy, stay aware, use discernment with no expectation.! That is the way of Zen! Arhata