Don’t Forgive, Just Forget
January 3, 2012
Please don’t laugh, but open you mind to the possibility that our cultures, and religions need to be reexamined for words that no longer mean what someone once thought. My insights on this were prompted by a friend’s viewpoints that made me think of a recent real situation for me with a dear loved one who turned away, and disappeared only to unexpectedly, after 8 years, resurface to reconnect with warm, loving words which continue from nearly a year ago. Her sudden exit was very hurtful, but I could understand the unresolved issues that allowed her to do so quite disconcertingly. Resolved personal issues in her, made her available, and with greater love.
When you feel love for yourself, you automatically feel it for others, and even more for someone very close. No need to forgive, and a natural opportunity is to forget. Forgetting is not necessarily a quick response, but needs not be something harboring inside instead slowly moving on. Focusing on forgiving is to dredge up memories that are perceived as negative (and may well be), but what service is it to you to dwell on the negative instead of using the same energy to look to rise above the lingering anger, hurt, sadness, confusion or whatever?
Focus on being more aware of what caused unhappy situations, while looking to be more aware, hence discerning of all aspects of life encountered. That which can’t seem to be forgotten, needs to become unattached to while in remembrance of opening the heart for love within as well as for others. All experiences are ‘teachers’ or a ‘guru’ for further use on the journey. Look deeply, with compassion, common sense, and an open heart at all challenges, and move on, in a more positive direction. Position yourself in the most harmonious way to everything. Know when you’re crossing over a line putting yourself in harm’s way.
Religions have taught us forever to ‘forgive’, but why the mess of violence, and every negative imaginable continuing? Forget, then forgiveness is not necessary. Why spend endless time remembering what you need to forgive someone for? Holding grudges is immature, and an impediment to other proactive decisions that are life and love supportive. When you forget, then all you have to do is focus on ‘self awareness’. Be the watcher, and open the heart. Stick your wife and pet dog in a car trunk for a few minutes before opening, and see which one is really happy to see you. No forgiving necessary for the loving one who just ‘forgets’, and is in natural love! Keep an open heart!