December 23, 2011
Familiaphobia is a seeming strange fear of family closeness.
Love and harmony among family members, and once loved ones, seems to be as rare as friendliness among different species of animals in the wild. Being fascinated by human behavior, and an ardent observer of characteristics of all elements of interactions between people who should, because of prior circumstances of closeness, finding themselves detached, is very perplexing. Clearly, as ‘love’ is the most cherished word in all languages, it’s manifestation seems quite damaged or worse in all aspects of life, but never more than among families. It’s no wonder the world is in such turmoil with ‘strained relations’ being as common as not.
Fear of closeness is certainly the norm among couples, but extends also over to family members who grew up together. Couples, married or not, are too often ending their version of love in a ‘train wreck’, and with no little possibility of recovery. Couples, plus couples with ‘one missing in action’, are frequently moving in the dark over rocky terrain that results in an abandonment of the ‘journey of love’ as if struck by a ‘land mine’. Neither, or at least one of them, seems unconcerned about the overall health, and circumstance of the other. Love often changes into a nightmare when ‘love’s responsibility’ is to always give to the other ‘no matter what’.
A family that is dedicated to positive communicating among each other with the mindset of always overlooking differences is a family that enjoys togetherness for them and future generations. The ‘art of harmony’ is the glue that creates a heartfelt sense of belonging with gratefulness. It seems that most I meet have families, and ex loved ones, that have either been cast to the wind, or they have been all but cast out. To start a separation is far, far easier than finding and making a successful way to repair it. Life is moment to moment, and at any time all the ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda’s’ can come to an abrupt ending that becomes the primary memory for the rest of life.
The ‘throwing the baby out with the bathwater’, or ending a connection while ignoring common sense decencies, with or without love, is a tragedy of life’s potential meaning. Always, you must be mindful of nurturing members of the family or other loved ones, even if they are best repositioned further away to make it harmonious. It’s a ‘thank you for the opportunity of life’, and the mother who gave you the love that she was capable of giving. Always be guided by love, compassion, and positive action, however small. It’s the spiritual thing to do!