Dialog – NEVER Argue!
December 14, 2011
Know when you’re on the winning side, and never argue increasing the possibility of losing. When you know more than the other one – why argue? Ego? ‘Dialoging’ is a method of going in the same direction, and not from the ego. Better to schmooze than lose! Make all verbal exchanges on a heart to heart basis. Use verbal foreplay to create receptivity, and avoiding rejection is the ‘smooth conscious’ way that gets more results with it’s honey than throwing vinegar on verbal challenges. Selling an idea by arguing or debating is like Homer’s Sisyphus trying to push a giant bolder up a mountain. Futile!
There are many people, some very smart even, who have become accustomed to always find an argument, and dragging the unsuspecting listener, who is caught off guard, forcing them to use seldom used skills to downsize the situation. Love dialogs!
Love, with issues, that has more to grow above them is more apt to find an argument. The arguing victim rarely knows the skills required to turn the arguer off instead of becoming part of an argument. Likely two people are both prone to argue.
The next time you see the argument coming, take a deep breath, and relax while listening to the other, it’s an opportunity to go inside, and change your energy into a calm peaceful state. While being a ‘corporate salesman’ in NYC for near 20 years, one rule we were taught as ‘fledglings’ was to always let the customer be right, and never step into the combat ring. It’s easy to win battles, but still lose the war, or receptivity of the other. Turn on the positivity while turning off the need to be right. Climb the step of conversation incrementally one step at a time leading to what you’d like to say with a skillful preliminary softening of the other mind if need be.
The spiritual/conscious way is very similar to how any sales person prepares the prospect/‘receiver’. Truth is often offensive, and it may not even be the truth. Love is a dialog with yourself, and any other, flowing in a giving-receptive way. In a strange sense, it’s like giving a dog ‘treats’ for obeying a command. Expect nothing, and hoping for the best without any attachment to the outcome. Flexibility allows dialog. Dialog is communicating. The No. 1 problem in the world today is a lack of the skillful ability to communicate. The sound of love comes silently in a dialog.