July 27, 2011
Most people ‘cross the sensitive line’ of empathy, and compassion for others, not realizing or actualizing awareness of behaviors that make another unnecessarily uncomfortable. Unconscious people have infinite aspects of themselves that are not ‘self accounted’ for. Conscious people on the other hand, generally read into their actions that involve others with sensitivity, and have little interaction among themselves that’s not loving. Unconsciousness is rarely taking responsibility for habits and behaviors that may affect others who are too polite too say anything for sensible fear of harming a relationship.
In my meditation center, I have two opposite types as examples. One is a very pretty, tall drama queen who grew up alone in a disfunctional situation moving from father to mother back and forth with neither being ‘sensitive’ to her needs. She’s very bright, obviously ‘wounded’ even though it’s mostly hidden. ‘Drama queen’ is generally ‘high maintenance’, but is willing to learn, needing hints of things overlooked in a skillful manner. She frequently acknowledges or apologizes for her occasional lack of empathy.
The other case is a middle aged courteous guy who is always cleaning. It took a while to recognize that he has OCD, or Obsessive-compulsory disorder that shows up in over cleaning everything. Now that’s a desirable quality – to a point. When he insists that others follow suit, and then gets upset if he is told to relax his request a bit, it enters a realm where he needs to apologize, and at the same time not hold a judgment against others for pointing out his obsession. In any case where others are involved, it’s always sensitive to clarify without reaction whether the other is ok and not offended.
Being a bit humble, seeing, and apologizing for ‘questionable habits’ with no malice toward the ‘victim’ is to show empathy, and compassion that hopefully will lead to correcting the behavior. Most come from childhoods that have somewhat created a disfunction showing up in adult behavior later that should be worked out for harmonious relationships. Never be oblivious to who you are, and how you seem to others, particularly the more conscious. The ‘spiritual’ can never be fully experienced with limiting behavioral habits that aren’t acknowledged, and tempered for others. Know yourself, and you will know others, and there will be no need to apologize.