Relationships CAN’T Work!
April 19, 2010
Love has many dimensions, but rarely is it authentic! It’s relaxing when realizing that sticking ones head in the sand is not the best way to breath! Independence or dependence is a choice that doesn’t consider the ramifications. Raging concern for independence became fashionable beginning in the ’60’s as a revolt against male domination over woman since written history, and likely, forever. Women sought equality but at the expense of health, ‘interdependence’ and a rare continued expression of deep love.
Relationship implies you are separate, independent as is the other, and you decided to relate. Their is a gap that has avoided an interdependence of a deep merger. Independence has a type of falseness to it. Secrets and choices not to communicate to protect the independence are encouraged by the separateness. Love becomes a ‘word’ that’s convenient to keep the strings of an independent or dependent relationship afloat. No one can separate themselves from the interdependence of the elements of existence. We are one with them, no separation is possible.
Love can have three dimensions:
One is dependent love which nearly everyone in a ‘relationship’ is involved in. Each is a commodity where one exploits the other. They dominate, control, and possess one another. Much of keeping it together has to do with fear of not having the other to maintain a lifestyle, and being left alone in a world where most others are also fighting to maintain some semblance of an outward happy couple, though inward, happiness is just a nice word to make one feel good.
The second, more popular in the west since ‘the independent me’ revolution of the ’60’s/’70’s in ‘independent love’. Compromise is fractured and often very unwilling with ‘adjustments’ at best having to be negotiated. Independent freedom is demanded but at a big cost to all but marginal love. It becomes indifference as each is left to their own space. Deep love is feared as something that will sacrifice what they consider freedom.
The third dimension is where real, enduring love occurs, yet rarely happening. It is where two souls are in synchronicity. Their every action and breath is in synchronicity with the other. Their is a merging in high consciousness so that their feeling of joy, bliss, compassion and love are present within each at any moment. The other two dimensions are ‘arrangements’ for social, biological, economic and/or psychological reasons. The ‘interdependence way’ holds the only possibility and probability of authentic, heart warming love that can be regarded as spiritual.