October 12, 2009
Love was primary on my mind since teen years – sex not far behind. Today the gap continues to grow! Love in it’s pure form with two people where each has a choice to go all the way for it or not, is innocent and, left to it’s own whims, oblivious to all around. I discovered this with clarity at 18 when I was deep in ‘love and sex’ with a preacher’s daughter who ‘walked on water’, at least after the lovemaking obliterated her Jesus addiction. Loving deep with one person, cancels ALL religion and, is a step into the freedom of the divine unknown.
At this time, while we both were in college, I worked in a ‘cedar shake mill’ packing shakes for roof tops. The ‘middle of the night job’ was challenging in this rainforest logging town. One night early into our ‘love escapades’, all the world disappeared including showing up for work that night. Fortunately, while very nervous the next morning, I deeply apologized to the understanding night foreman. Love + sex was ‘stupid’, or ‘unconscious’ of implications.
Love or even ‘sex without love’, leads to sometimes foolish decisions. Even more is ‘low volume love’ with sex as a necessary relief contrary to the wishes of the other. Love then reaches another kind of stupidity. Love burning on the shirt sleeve with full compassion for the other is love with intelligence and discernment for it’s divineness. Love is a gift that in a way is parceled out to those most with an open heart that moves beyond all fears of it’s closeness.
It’s ‘stupid’ to avoid love especially if it’s given for the expectation of something in return. Love makes no sense until one moves into total awareness and, openness without fear. Communication with compassion, opens the chambers of love in the soul. Other wise, love remains ignorant and, while there may be momentary bliss, love stagnates into a state of alternating ‘stupid’ love, hate, and confusion. Total, unconditional love at it’s peak transcends into the enlightenment of the being, which I prefer to call ‘lovelitenment’. Dependent love does not transfer to the fullness of ‘independent love’. Mature, mutual independent, or self love, is the door opener to the divine and unconditional love within. It’s ‘stupid’ to let love be anything less than in it’s full magnificent display.