May 11- 2009
… Although generally not as much as a pet dog does! Men and women fear the real closeness of love. Women tend to love their children more than their partners. That has a ‘double meaning’! Women, with few exceptions, don’t move beyond ‘teflon’ love of their partners. As superficial as men can be with love, there are more who experience deeper partner love. The accepted notion that women love more has been largely unquestioned, but true.
It is important to know that love spreads itself in all directions and yet, must first, to be full, happen almost exclusively with a partner. A partner acts as a mirror and endless receiver of love if, they are open. Girls at an early age, beginning in their teens, find themselves chased by the boys who look for the thrill of the moment. With that conditioning early on, women become attached to the idea that men are superficial, ignoring those who are both less active, less likely to encounter and, with more love to give. Females are easily conditioned to become fearful of opening up and instead protect their fears, often selecting to share their suppressed love with a child. Children are totally dependent and consequently don’t totally open a woman’s love as with an ‘equal’.
Women, early on, create walls or shields, that may never come down to allow real consistent love to happen and deepen. Authentic love never withdraws when faced with another’s open love either in the moment or, as time moves on, even when not with a former partner. Conditional love usually is ‘love with an adult’ and is the ‘status quo’ in the world at this time.
I had the opportunity to converse with a female friend recently who at one time was every man’s desire when walking down the street. After years of keeping in touch with her, the conversation turned to that she had only expressed love as a ‘four’ on a ten point scale. Unresolved issues follow her into mid life like a shadow, controlling all love and trust. This, sadly, is close to the norm.
All humans need to experience full love, and if it’s not happening in early adulthood, need to be open to changes. One important suggestion is to learn to meditate for opening the heart and awareness to look beyond the past, allowing living in a ‘let go’ in the moment. One in a deep meditative state, having cleared unresolved issues, is open to loving deeper.